Developmentally Challenged

It’s hard to believe that little Donnie is turning 78 today.  Where did all those years go?

Was it only yesterday that we brought him home to the White House in diapers, chuckling when he boasted about the size of his inauguration crowd, and wouldn’t you know it, the little dickens is still bragging about his packed rallies.

For years, we have watched our crybaby grow into a husky toddler who though still seems stuck in the terrible twos, behaves more like a four year old.

By this age, Donnie should have reached certain developmental milestones.

According to the CDC, there are important achievements for a 4-year-old’s growth. How our child plays, learns, speaks, and moves offer clues about our child’s development.

By 4 years old there are some exciting milestones our Donnie should have reached.

Trump’s Sharpie doctored hurricane map embodies the man.

“By four he can handle a pencil and crayon.”  Donnie has hit the mark on this one. We’ve seen him skillfully use a Sharpie many times.

“The four years old is more creative with make-believe play.” Long into make-believe, our bogus billionaire, spray-tanned, ex president has precociously mastered this skill long before he turned 4.

“By 4 he can pour, cut food with supervision, and manage his own feeding and drinking.” We’ve all seen Donnie drink out of a glass just like a big boy.

Arrested Development

When it comes to the election count, something doesn’t add up for Donnie.

Unfortunately,  Donnie is quite sub-par in two important developments.

A Four-year-old Should :

“Understand the idea of counting.”   Since Donnie still insists he received a substantially higher number of votes in the presidential election, no further explanation is required here.

“Cooperates with other children.” Little Don does not play well with others. His alienation of our allies, along with those who don’t agree with him, shows poor people skills.

We all recognize that Donnie has problems trusting people outside his family. According to the CDC this is a red flag for developmental problems in a 4-year-old.

The CDC  encourages a parent to: “Act early by talking to your doctor if your child: Ignores other children or doesn’t respond to people outside the family.

If only the doctor had been called in earlier.