From the Kellyanne Conway Cold War Kitchen Collection of spyware just right for around the house and around the clock surveillance. Perfect for that mid-century miss intent on keeping her eyes peeled for a Ruskie spy posing as the milkman.
Obama may have watched Trump by turning his microwave into a camera, but long before the advent of microwaves, the James Bond era cold war housewife could rely on a whole range of small kitchen appliances to not only make her cooking faster, easier, and cleaner, but provide much-needed surveillance of cheating husbands, misbehaving children or the rogue KGB neighbor snooping around the kaffee klatch.
At least in the Kellyanne Conway alternative universe.
This was the golden age of spying and housewives weren’t exempt.
Mid century Mad Men with their three martini lunches may have looked skeptically at that olive in their martinis ( a favorite bugging device) but they’d be smarter to pay attention to that wall oven in their suburban kitchen or that electric skillet.
Care for some surveillance with your sunny side eggs?
By the spy vs spy 1960’s our government had been electronically spying on its citizens for years. “Bugging is so shockingly widespread.” went an article in Life Magazine in 1966, “and so increasingly insidious that no one can be certain any longer that his home is his castle–free of intrusion.”
Technology allowed smaller and smaller eavesdropping devices, some even sugar cube sized we were told with astonishment. The CIA made use of them all- microphones in wristwatches and cuff-links, hidden transmitters in pens, key chains and cigarette lighters.
Why not an Oster blender with a tracking device that would also transmit even a whisper from 35 feet away.
What cold war housewife wouldn’t want to turn into Agent 99?
Kellyanne Conway’s Cold War Childhood- Alternative Facts
It’s no wonder that Kellyanne got the idea of microwaving as spy surveillance. She learned it right at home.
When little Kellyanne Fitzpatrick’s Mom wanted to check in on her daughter she merely had to open her GE Electric Rotisserie and presto, a black and white photo of the little girls activities would appear. The table top Rotisserie as accurate as the finest oven for cooking or surveillance. Just push the button…set the timer…and forget it.
Records all activity. Broiled meats turn out juicier…as juicy as the surveillance pictures you capture.
Surrounded by waffle irons with built-in cameras that monitor anyone from anywhere, percolators that transmit highly sensitive information and the ever popular Presto Control Master that never forgets…because it records every conversation…Espionage was all around her.
Kellyanne’s Mom clearly imagined herself to be a secret agent like intelligent, stylish and assertive Emma Peel of the Avengers.
When it came time for Christmas, was it any wonder then that when little Kelly who had her heart set on a camera was delighted with that most wished for present – a Kenner Easy Bake Oven.
With the Easy Bake Oven Spyware she didn’t need a Polaroid Swinger Camera to take pictures. She knew it was not only first-rate for EZ cooking but could ingeniously, secretly monitor her playmates too.
An alternatives fact Avenger was born!
© Sally Edelstein and Envisioning The American Dream, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sally Edelstein and Envisioning The American Dream with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.