Make America’s Toilets Great Again

Trump sitting on toilet and vintage bathroom

Donald Trump’s passion for plumbing has not been equaled by another  U.S. President since Richard Nixon and the plumbers. Finally, Trump has something else besides impeachment in common with our 37th president. Speculation mounts that his new fascination with plumbing is due to the fact that he and his administration have been floating in a fetid cesspool these past many years.

Now Trump has  gone on a tirade vowing to make America’s toilets great again

Trump continues to bemoan a fading America. He wants to make good on his promise to his followers to “Make America Great” again by taking them back to that mythical time when America was great. You know, mid-century America, when minorities were marginalized and women objectified. A happy carefree white America where neighbors could wish each other Merry Xmas with abandon and immigrants hadn’t come to your town yet.

Where asbestos was utilized with unbridled enthusiasm and clean water ran through sturdy lead pipes. And the toilet worked with just one effortless flush. Not the Obama-sanctioned, liberal lavatories of today requiring 10-15 strenuous flushings before everything goes where it needs to go.

We have a situation where we’re looking very strongly at sinks and showers, and other elements of bathrooms,” Trump recently said. “You turn on the faucet, you don’t get any water… They take a shower, the water comes dripping out. People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times,” Trump lamented.

Trump might not be concerned about carbon reduction, oil drilling, or pipeline expansion but he’s on top of toilet flushes.

The right to flush efficiently is an American right.

collage American flag and vintage bathroom 1950s

American toilets once set the standard for the world. In fact, American Standard was the gold standard of toilets. Now our credibility in the world is flushed down the tubes. Literally. Trump wants to remedy that and return us to our rightful standing.

Let’s go back to those times and make American Toilets Great Again!”

Post War Promises

Once upon a time, the U.S.A stood united and confident at the apex of global power and consumer abundance. WWII soldiers came back to a robust America, the American dream gift wrapped just for then. The first thing they wanted was a new home to start a family. Backed by the GI bill, many could afford a new house.

 

Vintage ad American Standard

With the end of the war, the greater possibilities of the world of tomorrow had come alive. And that included well-functioning, new-as-tomorrow-toilets.

Freedom of speech, the right to bear arms, and the right to flush efficiently, that’s an American birthright.  As is an endless supply of water streaming from our showerheads.  That’s what our boys were fighting for.

vintage toilet paper ad

The drab years of WWII were behind us, the pent up hunger born of war sacrifices and denial were unleashed. What awaited was a world of never before things. Never before because it was never possible before, things that would make you proud of your choice and the envy of others.

 

Vintage ad Bathrooms 1950's

Color drenched full-page ads filled the magazines tempting the new homeowner. Mid-century bathrooms were lavishly displayed in a rainbow of hues. Modern fixtures and toilets had transformed from solid white porcelain to an array of decorative colors.

The post-war world of convenience was a colorful carefree world of frost-free effortless fun, a world of unparalleled ease, no fuss no muss. And that included toilets as well. Mid-century  America was on the move. Who had time for 15 flushes?

 

vintage bathroom 1950s

 

Vintage ad Briggs 1950s

vintage pink bathroom 1950s

vintage yellow bathroom 1950s

Americans were bubbling over with optimism.

If the world was rosy it was reflected in our bathrooms that began blooming in color. Pink bathrooms glowed with post-war promises, sunny yellow toilets and tubs cheerfully beckoned and turquoise tempted.

Like so many others in the mid-1950s, my parents headed to the suburbs, a land of newly built homes. While their own parents may have been content to remain behind in decaying cities, these fresh-faced vets and their families were ready for the modern suburbs of swing sets split levels and colorful brand new bathrooms.

 

Vintage pink bathroom 1950s

Like most brides, my mother knew choosing a home and its bathroom fixtures were the most important decisions she would ever make. There was no time for dull old- infashioned bathrooms. Tile and bathroom fixtures in bright and contrasting colors made bathrooms lively and new as tomorrow.

 

Bride and Groom vintage ad 1946 American Standard

“The most important decision a man and wife may ever make!” declares the headline from this late 1940s.

Look deep into the hearts of 2 people about to say “I do” and you’ll see a dream house. For marriage means a home. And buying a house is the most important decision a man and wife may ever make. That’s why it’s so important to plan a home with care for the health and comfort of family. To contribute to their health and comfort has been the privilege of American Standard for many years. Guard their health and comfort and peace of mind- with products that mean the American Standard mark.

 

suburban house couple 1950s

In fact, it was the large pink and grey tiled bathroom of the model house on Western Park Drive that my parents would eventually purchase in 1955 that sealed the deal.

 

vintage ad Kohler Bathroom

As my young mother stepped onto the small pink and grey rectangular mosaic tiling in the large bathroom, her heart swooned.

The Pepto Bismol pink bathroom fixtures with its accent dove gray tiles were all she had hoped for. Gone were the somber dark greens and maroon bathrooms of her youth. A smart and cheerful bathroom was modern living at its best.

vintage pink bathtub and woman

My mother could envision herself taking a hot, bubble bath in the pink bathtub that filled to the top in a jiff.

Smiling she thought of her toddlers getting toilet trained on that cool, pink porcelain toilet. “As easy to clean as a porcelain platter,” boasted one ad. And flushing was child’s play with these hi-flow toilets. In the end, it was the no-clog pink toilet with a powerful one-time flush that sealed the deal.

Just thinking of those hi-flow flush toilets would help her to “wake up and smile!” As her Aunt Ida said, “Where else but in America could you count on only one flush. Oy, only in America!”

It was what made America great.

 

© Sally Edelstein and Envisioning The American Dream, 2019. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sally Edelstein and Envisioning The American Dream with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

6 comments

  1. Pierre Lagacé

    I know how much people down south need some relief.

    Like

  2. Pierre Lagacé

    I think your problem you now have started back in 1947 when a young toddler was being forced by his mother to be toilet trained.

    Like

  3. If he gets off the cheeseburger diet, the pipes will probably work just fine. All that ick and grease going down the pipes… yeah, might be causing problems.

    Liked by 1 person

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