Facebook Jail- An Ex-Con Speaks

Vintage illustration Charles Dana Gibson 1906

Proudly I have now joined the long and noble list of the righteous who served time in jail for their beliefs- truthtellers like Emma Goldman, Martin Luther King, and Nelson Mandella to name just a few.

Tossed in the Facebook slammer for an arbitrary remark ( is there any other reason to be thrown in Zuckerberg’s pokey?) coupled with an alleged history of sexually offensive graphics, I was given a 48-hour sentence.

Like Santa Claus, the nerdy elves at Facebook Headquarters are busy making their lists and checking it twice, snooping to see who’s been naughty or nice.

 

Well, color me naughty because I am now part of that oh too-rapidly expanding group of millions of censured users whose accounts have been blocked and put in FaceBook jail.

Zuckerberg’s Big House is getting bigger every day

Jailbird

On Wednesday, still reeling from the sickening Supreme Court reveal, an offhanded comment I made on a friend’s Facebook post got me busted.

For those who saw no difference between Trump and Hillary, who just “didn’t like her” and on whose shoulders now rests the responsibility of our disastrous Supreme Court and likely the end of Roe v Wade, my dormant rage bubbled up.

But my anger is always well-tempered.

Commenting on a liberal-minded FB post regarding that disastrous 2016 election, that debacle that send Hillary packing while elevating a fascist, dangerous traitor, resulting in the nightmare we now live in, I was quickly censored for a truly innocuous word that raised the hackles of the powers that be at Facebook.

Law and Order Criminal Intent

But because it was apparently my third strike I got sent to the joint.

Unbeknownst to me, I already had a criminal record on file in the nefarious backrooms of FB algorithms.

Felon on the Loose

To my surprise, there were 2 previous infractions from last year.

For twice posting deviant, sexual content.

No nothing racy from my vast collection of vintage 1960s porn.

Nope. It was a unicorn

A unicorn. That’s right, a sweet My Little Pony for heaven’s sake.

Quite inadvertently and likely a result of my awkward fingers pushing some key unintentionally on my iPhone while posting on the run, a unicorn emoji was posted on a comment I made. I was cited for publishing two images with what they deemed offensive sexually inappropriate content.

A Unicorn!  A silly unicorn.

The irony is unicorns could not be further from my own field of reference or interest. An image that I don’t believe I ever referenced in conversation and cannot imagine any place I would feel the urge to post that graphic as punctuation to a comment.

A Public Warning

Stuck in solitary confinement I did a deep dive into the topic of unicorns and discovered a darker world than I imagined. As a public service and a bit of warning, this is what research into unicorns revealed.

In a relationship, a unicorn is a person who joins a couple, either for a single sexual experience such as a threesome or for a longer-term relationship.

Seeing a unicorn emoji on someone’s profile like Tinder means they are willing to be a couple’s third. And if someone says “looking for a unicorn” that means they’re in a relationship looking for that magical person to join their partner,.”

Who knew? Now you do. Be forewarned.

I am now out, sprung early for good behavior.

I’m glad to be out and breathe the stench of freedom, even as it’s slowly being taken away.

The pursuit of truth, the telling of it is the last hope for an embattled and divided America.

2 comments

  1. I congratulate you! I not only got a brief few hours in the Facebook slammer when I posted one too many panels in a funny sequence of a favorite comic,

    I apparently am permanently banned from Twitter without posting a single thing on day one when I clicked on one too many politicians’ and journalists’ names I wanted to follow. The Twitter Twits decided that made me a spammer! Anyway, I sent a sad plea to them, noting I was the victim of ignorance of the rule, that I just wanted to read what these notable people had to say each day. If I am allowed back, I will then have access to the process where I can cancel my account. I no longer want to be on it.

    I post my blog on Facebook for those family and friends who don’t have accounts on WordPress but are on Facebook or I would like to drop that account, too.

    Like

  2. There have been comments sections that have been used to promote child pornography. Humanity always includes sick individuals. The question is whether there is a need to not educate users and subject them to censorship. Law enforcement may not want it publicized. Alternatively, cemsoring the likes of you keeps law enforcement away from fb. It is sort of like when tsa gives full body searches of grandmas. It is for show and to distract the public to think they are doing their job.

    Like

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