In the past few weeks, I feel as though the media has morphed into the golden age of aging, though some portrayals are less than golden.

In fact, some are tarnished old tropes that women have been fed since childhood.

Generating lots of buzz, pop culture has dished up two very different takes on female competitiveness and older women.

Netflix’s Nyad is the remarkable true story of competitive athlete Diana Nyad’s quest to swim from Cuba to Florida in her 60s, and ABC’s The Golden Bachelor, that well-aged, prime-time franchise is now featuring female contestants once considered well past their prime.

Flexing their Attributes- (L) Diana Nyad flexing her muscles (r) Contestant on The Golden Bachelor. Media has long created a culture of objectification of women reducing them to physical appearances or their relationship with men rather than being recognized for their achievements.

One show revolves around a tenacious athlete competing for her personal best against tremendous odds with the coaching and encouragement of her best friend, the other offers up the familiar story of women competing against one another in that ultimate female sport- winning the affection of a hunky heterosexual man.

The only thread connecting them both features women often assumed to be past their expiration date.

While The Golden Bachelor perpetuates that age-old problem of pitting women against each other, especially in pursuit of a man, the beating heart of Nyad is the supportive friendship between two women in pursuit of another’s long-held dream.

Feuding Females

The toxic tradition of female competition and rivalry is long a source of cultural fascination.

Like most girls my age, I was weaned on Betty and Veronica that dynamic duo locked forever in competition for the freckle-faced Archie’s affection.

Our culture devours xx chromosome battling. Women are rarely allowed comradery and team spirit.

And that is the beating heart of Nyad.

A remarkable true story of tenacity, friendship and triumph of the human spirit. Annette Benning and Jodie Foster.

Jodi Foster as Bonnie Stoll, BFF, and one-time lover and coach to Annette Bening’s Diana Nyad provides crucial and committed support to Nyad in her near-impossible mission.

Far from the sugar-coated, glitter and artifices of The Golden Bachelor contestants, these were authentic relationships with authentic-looking women of a certain age pursuing impossible dreams against all odds. At 60 Diana becomes obsessed with competing in an epic swim that always eluded her – the 110 miles from Cuba to Key West. An attempt she tried in 1978 at 28.

After three decades away from the sport it is a response to a world that “wants me to shut up my mouth and sit down and wait to die.”

Ambition was as unvarnished as their physical selves, vanity dissolved and authenticity rose to the surface in Nyad

These were women unafraid of their drive and unapologetic about who they were. Whereas Nyad showed raw ambition and competitiveness as unvarnished as the actor’s authentic faces, there was enough filler in some of the Bachelor contestant’s faces to keep them afloat on a long swim.

They are not in pursuit of a heterosexual relationship to help define them or complete them. In fact for both lesbians, a romantic relationship takes a back seat to personal goals.

It is their friendship that has emerged as the key relationship in their lives.

Same Old Bachelor

Women as rivals particularly when it comes to the attention of a man have long been internalized in pop culture -that is the beating heart of The Golden Bachelor.

The Bachelor franchise was an American institution, I had long avoided but was curiously drawn to its latest resurrection. Its premise was promising- The Golden Bachelor featuring Gerry Turner the 72-year-old widower with appropriately mature contestants might bring new energy to this tired trope.

The hope was it would give a bit of authenticity, a rarity in this franchise.

But the man-hungry competitiveness, even occasional cattiness that emerges are the same cliches we see with twentysomethings. It was Veronica and Betty battling it out but with more Botox.

All the same mechanisms are in play, the same gimmicky shots, story choices, high gloss jewel-toned gowns, and high school moves. Pilates-perfect women jockeying for attention,  looking for love, filled with  cringeworthy dialogue and gimmicks

Cliques are formed and claws are out. It was mean girls on Medicare.

Annette Bening as Diana Nyad trained for a year for the role.

Though The Golden Bachelor had good intentions in trying to cast their nets in a wider age pool, I’d rather swim in the deep sea with Annette Benning than any of these silly, manipulative sisters.

At the end of Nyad, my eyes were filled with salty tears as though I had swam miles in the ocean.

It’s that good.

Just dive in and watch.

For me, the Golden Bachelor laid an egg. And not a golden one

© Sally Edelstein and Envisioning The American Dream, 2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sally Edelstein and Envisioning The American Dream with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.