Watching little Marco hobble around the Capitol in a pair of oversized Oxford shoes like a little boy in his father’s wingtips makes me squirm.

Knowing he is doing so just to please his boss is revolting.

While bombs are falling in Iran, soldiers are being killed, and little school children obliterated, our commander in chief is busy amusing himself by gleefully guessing others’ shoe sizes and gifting them the $145 black Florsheim oxfords.

What a fun distraction from the war he created based on a hunch.

A guess.

Well, his hunches about other men’s shoe sizes are no more accurate than they were about our need to start a war.

Suddenly, all his sycophant boys are decked out in ill-fitting Florsheims literally tripping over one another to keep Donald Trump happy.

No one wants to offend dear leader by not wearing the shoes.

I have a visceral reaction watching this parade of court jesters trouncing around the Oval Office in oversized clown shoes. It’s not only the political implications, but it hits me in a deeply personal way.

As the great-granddaughter of a successful shoe manufacturer, I am offended.

Appalled.

Vintage Ad Dr. Posner Shoes

Shoes are in my blood. Because my great-grandfather, Abraham, started a successful children’s shoe company, Dr. Posner Shoes, the importance of a proper fit of footwear was instilled in me from an early age.

My great-grandfather would be spinning in his grave at the idea of guesswork going into the fit of footwear. Even if his shoes were advertised as “scientific shoes,” they always required precise “scientific” measuring to fit.

And that meant a Brannock device, a shoe salesman’s most trusted tool.

Yes, that ubiquitous metal contraption found in shoe stores that is still used to measure our feet has a name.

Developed by Charles F. Brannock of Syracuse, N.Y.  in 1925, the Brannock device is the standard foot measuring tool for the world’s footwear industry. Its invention dramatically improved the accuracy of foot measurement.

When Abraham Posner started his company in 1888, the classic shoe sizer was a wooden Ritz stick. When the metal Brannock device was invented, measuring the length, width, and arch length of the human foot, it was a game-changer and hasn’t changed much over nearly 100 years.

Of course, to really take the guesswork out of sizing feet, why not count on a blast of radiation?

Shoe fitting Fluoroscopes has its roots in World War I, with the military’s study of the fit of boots and its effect on soldiers’ health. Dr. Jacob Lowe, a Boston physician, first developed a fluoroscope for quickly diagnosing veterans with foot problems. After the war, he converted the device for use in shoe stores. His 1919 patent application claims that by using this device, “a shoe merchant can positively assure his customers that they need never wear ill-fitting boots and shoes.”

The fluoroscope could “scientifically” verify a salesmans recommendation and help steer customers to more expensive shoes.

As a mid century kid , I could take advantage of the X-ray fluoroscope, the futuristic apparatus that would X-ray your feet right in your local shoe store.

Getting sized for new school shoes in the fall was a special rite of passage as a child, and the fitting of the new shoe was anything but guesswork. Getting that extra care to help children’s growing feet was oh-so-important.

And lucky for me, my local shoe store, Henley’s, could take advantage of the miracle of the X-ray fluoroscope

Their radio announcement, blaring between WNEW’s Klavin and Finch, was played constantly right after Labor Day when the rush to get new school shoes was on.

“Every parent will want to hear this important news!

“Now at last you can be certain that your child’s foot health is not being jeopardized by improperly fitting shoes.”

“Henleys Shoe store on Hempstead Turnpike  in Franklin Square is now featuring the new ADRIAN Special Fluoroscopic Show Fitting machine that gives you visual proof in  a second that your children’s shoes fit. The ADRIAN Special shoe fitting machine has been awarded the famous Parents Magazine Seal of Commendation…a symbol of safety and quality to millions of parents all over America.”

“If your children need new shoes, don’t buy their shoes blindly. “

“Come in today, let us show you the new, scientific method of shoe fitting that careful parents prefer.”

“Henley’s Shoe Store invites all of you to visit us today for an interesting demonstration. We know that once you buy shoes that are scientifically fitted you will shop at Henley’s s all of the time.”

Fluoroscope- x-ray machine for feet

Once in the store, the shoe salesman would gently place my foot in the fluoroscope- x-ray machine, a big box that looked like an old radio floor model. My tootsies were ready to have their picture taken.

His well-practiced “Here’s looking at you, kid” guaranteed to elicit a giggle from me. With the seriousness of a doctor and the expertise of a scientist, his foot side manner created just the right blend of scientific know-how and showmanship.

Placing my foot inside the box, I could see all the bones of my foot glowing white in a hazy green.

Whether my shoe size revealed my character, as Trump believes it does, is questionable, but my future in proper footwear was captured forever.

No guesswork involved.