This vintage security poster from Syracuse University in 1973 (L) was ironically directed at protecting your valuables like your stereo more than female student safety. (R) Sally Edelstein Syracuse Freshman 1973

Rape Academy is one school you never want your son to attend.

A website teaching men how to sexually assault women recently went viral. A shockwave was felt when CNN uncovered an online community they describe as a massive “Rape Academy” where men record videos of themselves abusing their unconscious wives and girlfriends after drugging them. Since boys will be boys they casually swap advice on drugging and filming the sexual assault of their partners while unconscious.

I’m repulsed.

But I’m not shocked, and I’ll bet most women aren’t either.

Rape Academies have always existed. They flourished in locker rooms, bars, and college dorms. Technology has just caught up.

In my day a college fraternity house could easily have been termed a rape academy, ground zero for drugging, boozing and date rape.

It was for me.

In 1973, Syracuse University promised its students that college life would provide lasting memories.

They didn’t disappoint.

Even decades later, college memories remain etched deeply in my psyche. Especially if like me, you were sexually assaulted. More than once.

My freshman year at the university indeed provided remembrances that still linger- the chimes from Crouse College, the freaks playing Frisbees on the quad, making a late night dinglerun, hanging out on M Street.

And date rape.

The boys will be boys mentality was in full force in the multiple fraternity houses  that lined the leafy tree-lined streets of the university.

These gracious, stately mansions on Walnut Avene, were the breeding ground for male entitlement.  Raucous, boozy keg parties were the norm.  So were sexual assault and harassment. These bastions of boys clubs filled with privileged white lads, smirking and high-fiving one another after each new “conquest,” followed in the Bret Kavanaugh credo – what happened at  Kappa Phi Delta stayed here.

But it also stayed in my mind.

More than once, I was sexually assaulted.

More than once, I would stumble back to my dorm up on the Mount, shaken, drunk, drugged upset, and ashamed.

More than once, flashbacks of a darkened room, the sound of  “Bad Bad Leroy Brown” blaring loudly in the background, quaaludes slipped into a drink, the weight of being pinned down against my will, the strained struggle of unwanted groping, the air redolent of pot, and the stale yeasty scent of Genesee beer would all flood back years later at unwelcomed times, so that even today the very smell of beer brings up a wave of nausea.

They’re Just Boys

It went unreported because that was the norm, too.

Because boys will be boys, it was so easy to brush aside bad behavior.

Because we convinced ourselves it was our fault.

Because no one would believe us. Because we want to forget it happened.

“Don’t any of you leave until you each promise not to tell.” Vintage Playboy Magazine cartoon by Buck Brown

There was no name for “date rape,” but how many women of a certain age are haunted by memories of waking up in a stranger’s room, naked, disoriented, realizing they’d been sexually assaulted. Hungover from a boozy party, they blame only themselves and the alcohol for the assault that was perpetrated on them. There was no outrage because no one would listen. In an era filled with protesting, their voices of protest were ignored.

In an era of student power, women were still pretty powerless.

The hallmark of a rape victim.

Unspoken of, the pain I experienced was swallowed, where it remained undigested for years, playing havoc with my psyche and my body. More than once.

Countless women have similar stories. Often, like me, more than one. From unwanted advances to forced sex acts, women are questioned, vilified, doubted, and kept silent.

But make no doubt about it, we still live in a culture where much of this behavior is laughed at or excused away.  It’s all part of school hijinks, college capers, drunken parties… boys being boys just trying to “get some action.”

Today, something remarkable began happening, though, when the revelations of the horrors of the rape academy came out. The men may have swapped tips on how to get away with the assault, but women are coming forward on social media.

On Threads, hundreds of women are sharing the full names and last known locations of men who raped them.

Schools out. Everyone should be held accountable.

End the silence.