With Valentines day fast approaching, the media is running rampant with romance tips. Forget everything else you’ve read – think Heinz. Who knew a simple condiment in your kitchen could come to your romance rescue?
During the dark days of the Depression, Babs Johnson learned how to keep her hubby happy and add some spice to her sagging marriage.
No mystery here. “Masculine hearts skip a beat when a lucky lady serves Heinz ketchup, the racy and rosy condiment!”
Life might not have been a bowl of cherries in Depression era America, but with a bottle of ketchup everything would seem like they were coming up roses. At least according to the ads Heinz ran in the 1930s.
“Heinz ketchup beckons a man!” one ad copy proclaimed. “It cultivates the habit of coming home to eat.” What man could possibly stray when that pert and perky condiment, that come hither Heinz ketchup bottle, beckoned?
You’ll understand why if you listen to this mouth-watering story:
Poor Babs learned the hard way.
Like the country’s economy her marriage to Dan was in the slumps. Romance had taken a holiday in her year old marriage. The honeymoon was barely over when Dan started burying his nose in the newspapers, barely touching his dinner, taking his meals at the local lunch counter.
It was a particularly nasty row over dinner one evening that sent this newlywed into tears.
Babs: “It’s the same hash you raved about at Ann’s Sunday night supper. You were so keen on it, I made her give me the recipe.”
Dan: “Then one of us is crazy. Why, I wouldn’t eat this for love or money”
“I’ll get a bite downtown,” Dan fumed storming out leaving Babs bothered and bewildered.
She had yet to learn that no gal can trust a plain meal to satisfy a man. This new bride was in need of a menu check up.
What That Man Of Yours Really Wants
It took the wise counsel of her more experienced gal-pals to set this young bride on the path to matrimonial happiness.
Pointing to a Heinz ketchup advertisement in the latest issue of Woman’s Home Companion, Babs eyes lit up: “Looking for something to make a husband sit up and take notice at the table?” she read with great interest. “Something he’ll give you a kiss and a compliment for? Then make sure you serve a bottle of ketchup with every meal.”
“The man isn’t born who doesn’t love ketchup”said her pal Madge getting right to the point. “Still the shortest route to your man’s heart! That extra little dash makes the meal. A juicy steak and Heinz rich tomato ketchup are a winning combination all men go for!”
Between sips of her Chase and Sanborn coffee, her neighbor Doris offered this tip, “He loves corned beef hash doesn’t he? Well, here’s a quick simple table trick, straight from Heinz themselves, that gives this favorite dish an extra appeal. Put Heinz Ketchup on the table – handily where he can reach it and pour it readily…And that goes for his omelet, his steaks – all his pet dishes!”
Goes Over Big
“Keep a bottle of the worlds largest selling ketchup on the table-the way good restaurants do- another in the kitchen, and one near the stove,” suggested Heinz in their ad. “ See how easily and economically you can give your meals those intriguing little touches your family loves! Give your cooking the worlds favorite flavor. Remember Heinz ketchup is no bugbear to budgeteers for it’s so rich a little goes a long way.”
“And every cook knows it transforms leftovers into snappy culinary triumphs! chirped in Helen. “Men have a yen for this sauce. He’ll be smacking his lips!”
Happy Days Are Here Again
Babs couldn’t wait to try it out.
“Come on home for supper, Darling! Corned Beef Hash, poached eggs and a new bottle of Heinz ketchup,” Babs cooed provocatively into the phone.
Dan could barely contain his excitement, “Coming soon, angel! That bright fresh ketchup flavor has my mouth-watering already!”
No more wandering eye at lunch counters.
No more whispers that Bab’s marriage was on the rocks. No more lonesome unhappy hours. For now, her hubby’s rushing home after work. Lucky Babs learned the secret to keeping a man satisfied.
“This dumb bunny’s never fooled again,” Babs said firmly.
She’d learned the first principle of culinary witchery – keep a bottle of that lusty condiment Heinz Tomato Ketchup handy in the kitchen!
Something any gal today might want to keep in mind to keep her hubby from straying.
Course Babs could have done one simple thing to keep him happy. Become a football fan-atic.
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I think my husband might well agree with you on that one
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omg this is sooooo 1950’s the family life revolving around keeping hubby happy… at first I thought this MUST be a joke… some females on here need to read “The Feminine Mystique” and watch “Mad Men” to start detoxing…. ugh…. I so don’t miss that b.s. 74 yr. old feminazi (and proud of it) My man’s a great cook, I’m not and we both wear the pants…cause it’s a mutually loving, fair-balanced relationship (of 40 years)
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The sexism in the ads just make it so darn easy to satire.