A picture speaks a thousand words.
35 of Bill Cosby’s alleged rape victims bravely grace the current cover of N.Y. Magazine, coming together to create a powerful image. Seated in rows with the dates of their alleged assaults underneath them, these women have courageously come forward to share their stories and reveal themselves in stunning photos by Amanda Demme.
Their stories go back decades, dovetailing perfectly with the time period covered in this previously published post.
Updated, it bears repeating.
A picture speaks a thousand words, and finally people are listening…and learning.
It Takes Balls
With the firestorm of controversy surrounding college campus rapes and Bill Cosby’s multiple allegations of sexually assaulting women dating back to the 1970s, the realities of our rape culture, its insidiousness and pervasiveness have become all too clear.
When it comes to picking up women… it takes balls.
From the caveman to Cosby, red-blooded men have been encouraged to be on the prowl for chicks. Licking their chops like a pack of hungry wolves, real men stalk women, never taking no for an answer, persistent even in the face of rejection.
Besides which it’s the girls responsibility to keep a man in check and refuse the brutes advances.
Yet even at the height of the 70’s sexual revolution, even with all his fame, fortune and charm it seems poor Bill Cosby still needed to rely on drugs to get a woman into bed.
If only he had availed himself of the wisdom of mating guru Eric Weber whose 1970 book “How to Pick Up Girls” became the quintessential guide for the testosterone driven members of the Me Generation.
It was the gold standard in helping millions of groovy guys pick up foxy ladies in the 1970s.
And it made Weber a lot of loot.
This misogynist’s manifesto of male entitlement promised a fool-proof guide to meeting good-looking girls “whenever and wherever, in bars, buses trains even on the streets – without a formal introduction.”
And without drugging your date.
Despite being rife with sexism it never suggests resorting to spiking your dates drink.
His formula was simple. Weber was a shy copywriter wiling his time on Madison Ave, when he decided to interview a bunch of “terrific looking women” he called the Fabulous 25. “They are all smart poised witty and good talkers the kind of girls you’d give at least one of your eye teeth to pick up,” as he described them,
For these Fabulous 25 getting picked up is the “hip modern way to meet men…purer than a blind date more in tune with our hip, modern times.”
“Here’s a fantastic piece of information learned from the Fabulous 25. No matter what a man looks like, what kind of job he has, or what his personality’s like, there is one simple thing he can do that will increase his stature in a woman’s eyes 100%.
And that is, he can try to pick her up. That alone says something great about a man. It says he’s courageous that hes man enough to go out and try to get what he wants”
The Fabulous 25, the foxy girls who Weber interviewed in 1970 would today more likely to be considered enablers of the entitlement culture at best; or end up on the cover of NY Magazine 45 years later as the “forlorn 35 ” victims of sexual assault one of a string of Bill Cosby’s “conquests.”
Misogyny Served Straight Up
Without missing a beat, the book immediately assaults you with a direct hit of misogyny, clearly setting the tenor for the rest of this intolerable tome.
The introduction starts casually enough.
“You’re walking down the street,” Weber begins painting a familiar scenario. “Minding your own business. And suddenly you spot a girl.”
“Not just an ordinary girl. Not just a fantastic girl. But the girl—someone so absolutely sexy, so downright delicious-looking.”
Barely able to contain his excitement he continues:
“You’ve just got to see more of her long, lean legs,” he pants. “Her fine, rounded breasts,” he salivates. “Her high, firm behind. For an instant you even consider rape.”
And who could blame you? That babe just assaulted you with her beauty!
Can’t Help Myself
As Weber explains later in the book, …women want to be picked up!
“Why do you think women parade around in skirts hardly a millimeter below their private parts?” he posits with great sincerity . “Why do you think so many of them have completely stopped wearing bras and panties? Just to look pretty? Don’t be crazy. They’re showing you their breasts and behinds to stimulate you.”
What’s a man to do?
Easing into stalker mode the introduction continues:
“As you close in on her your heart starts to pound like a kettle drum. You rack your brain. How can I manage to kiss her and bite her and hug her and strip off all her clothes?”
“Should I throw myself at her feet and promise her my savings account, my car –even my new set of golf clubs?” he wonders?
Then taking a page from the Fred Flinstone rule book on courting, he continues. “Or should I just grab her long golden locks and drag her off into the sunset?”
“Your mind draws a blank. You don’t know what to do.”
Of course if you’re like Bill Cosby you might just drop a lude into her Mimosa and render the fantastic girl unconscious.
For the rest of the insecure male readers, the book is filled with hundreds of nuggets on how to “bag your prey.”
Time-tested, winning techniques like to get a girl all laden with disrespect, arrogance and aggression, are the hallmark of a rape culture.
If it takes lying to pick up a chick, so much the better. Dishonesty it seems is an honest way to pick up a girl.
Hard to imagine, but the author of this book, clearly a smooth make-out artist, was once a shy and lonely guy just like the insecure reader who was looking for love in all the wrong places.
What he did was simple. He asked them how an ordinary guy like himself could pick up girls like themselves. Using their responses as the basis of his book Weber offered up the tricks of the trade of meeting women, self published the results, took out some ads in National Lampoon and Penthouse and went on to sell more than 3 million copies.
On the Prowl
According to the this guide book to male entitlement culture, picking up girls is more than your right as a man. It’s an obligation.
Once on the prowl, show her nothing comes between you and her Calvins.
“If you’re serious. If you’re really serious about picking up women you should be working at it 24 hours a day. You’re going to have to think picking up. In short you’re going to have to be on the prowl, ever alert for even the slightest hint of a possible pick up.”
Stalking is not only not forbidden it is encouraged.
“If you see a good-looking girl in the lobby of a building, make sure you get on the same elevator as she does. When she gets off, follow her — even if it’s not your floor.”
“Next time you move in on a girl, think to yourself, ‘I’m doing her a favor.”
And naturally no doesn’t ever really mean no.
“Show her that nothing, neither her feigned look of disinterest nor the pack of girls she hangs around with, is going to stop you from having her.”
And now we come to the reason why gents can do all this. In the chapter called Born Talented which more aptly should be called Born Entitled, Weber comes to the heart of the matter.
“Whether you know it or not you already have one great thing going for you when it comes to picking up chicks. And that is, you’re a man.”
What’s so special about that? It puts you in the driver’s seat, that’s what.
As a man, its your right, your privilege to approach a woman any time you want. But women – they’ve got to sit there and wait.
If a man doesn’t have a date on Saturday night, that’s okay. He can still go out on the town – to a bar, a discotheque, a wild party.
But woman – alas poor woman – she can’t do anything but sit around and play canasta with the girls. If she does go out stag, she seems hard up, desperate.
Traditionally, a woman without a man is a tragic figure. But a man without a woman – now that’s a different story.
There’s something romantic about the devil-may-care bachelor who instead of making dull constricting dates weeks in advance, prefers to pick up his women wherever he happens to be at the moment.
Consequently, women are always a lot more anxious to land a man than a man is to land a woman. A woman is over the hill at 35. A dried up spinster with no romantic hopes. But a bachelor of 35 may just be coming into his own.
Keep this in mind the next time you find yourself shivering with fear at the thought of approaching a strange woman.
You are a man.
If she turns you down, you can try picking up another 2 seconds later. But she – she may have to wait 2 months for the next man to come along. Or even longer.
…That makes you a pretty precious commodity if you happen to have been lucky enough to have been born a man!
“So happy reading. And then happier hunting!
Next: How to Pick Up Girls in Action 1970
© Sally Edelstein and Envisioning The American Dream, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sally Edelstein and Envisioning The American Dream with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
British radio-TV BBC website – here is a video showing some ads that I hadn’t seen before
“Ads from America’s real-life Mad Men / 26 July 2012 Last updated at 02:36 BST
The 1950s and 60s ushered in a new era of American consumerism.
With a booming economy and emerging middle class, the post-World War II era ushered in new ways to establish one’s identity through clothing, cars and other material possessions.
Advertising and marketing leaders helped shape the idea of success through Technicolor ads touting the latest must-have gadgets.
The two-volume edition of Mid-Century Ads: Advertising from the Mad Men Era (The Fifties and The Sixties) was produced by TASCHEN publishing and includes hundreds of images.
These ads provide revealing snapshots of the social mores that prevailed in a period when women were more often portrayed as sex objects; cigarettes were promoted by babies as stress relief for “Mom”; and American sun-seekers took to the skies in increasing numbers. /…/”
Sounds like he got his information from 25 cavemen. “Just club them and drag them by the hair to your cave. Women respect take-charge guys.” Geez.
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Coincidence? Really? By a hacker on the wromg side of the lunatic fringe?
“New York magazine’s website was taken offline for 10 hours after it posted a cover story featuring 35 women who have accused Bill Cosby of sexual assault. A magazine source told The Daily Beast that the website was hit by a distributed denial of service attack. The website has gone back up and down. A hacker named ThreatKing said he was responsible for the attack, but claimed that it had nothing to do with the cover story. “Many stupid people at [sic] New York,” he told the Daily Dot over Skype. “I have not even seen the cover, LOL.” New York has posted the entire article to Tumblr.”
“/…/ A self-described hacker called ThreatKing, who says he hates New York City, claims he has successfully overwhelmed the site with a distributed denial-of-service attack (DDoS), overloading its servers with traffic. As of this writing, New York is completely inaccessible. /…/”
“/…/ ThreatKing said his hatred of New York City is based on a visit to the city gone wrong. “I went to new York 2 months ago. It was really bad,” ThreatKing said. “Someone pranked me. Everyone started laughing and shit. The first 10 hours being there. Some African-American tried to prank me with a fake hand gun.”
That’s why, he said, he “[wants] to see people die at [sic] New York.” “I’ve seen many pranks gone wrong at new york. That got me pissed. That’s why I chose New York.
“I’ll try my best to keep [New York] offline for 14 hours,” ThreatKing said, adding, strangely, that “we would control the Internet if we had enough money. Because each server costs money.”
ThreatKing provided a link to Vikingdom’s Soundcloud page, which gives a hint into the group’s reasoning. There, in a recording titled “Warning Message to the United States,” a robotic voice says “We are going to destroy state websites, city websites, agency websites and court websites of the United States. You have took away our country and its time to get it back by destroying the United States.”
He declined to say what country he’s actually from, citing a fear of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
ThreatKing says Vikingdom2016 plans to attack more websites based in New York. He linked to a Twitter list of potential targets that have “New York” in their names, including the New York Times, the New York City FBI bureau, and New York University. /…/”
Got a Grudge? Now You Can Pay Someone to Hack the Web Site
Now Anyone Can Hack Into a Web Site With ‘a Couple Bucks’ By Seth Archer
NEW YORK (TheStreet) — A man with a grudge against New York City apparently decided to take down New York Magazine’s web site for several hours on Monday–just because he could.
“/…/ There’s a whole cottage industry of services you can hire for very cheap,” Brian Krebs author of Spam Nation and the security blog KrebsonSecurity, said. “It’s only a couple bucks to take any site offline for several hours, and some of these sites accept Paypal.”
These attacks are so common now that they barely receive any attention. But they pose a major threat to any company that does business online and angers a customer for whatever reason. Even more chilling: there’s not much companies can do to prevent it. /…/”
The next US president? (*PANIC!*) [Disposing 6000+ nuclear warheads…]
“Your loveliness goes on and on, yes it does.” // Peter Sarstedt – Where Do You Go To My Lovely (1969)
“/…/ Ivana Trump once accused the real-estate tycoon of ‘rape,’ although she later clarified: not in the ‘criminal sense.’ /—/”
“The book, by former Texas Monthly and Newsweek reporter Harry Hurt III, described a harrowing scene. After a painful scalp reduction surgery to remove a bald spot, Donald Trump confronted his then-wife, who had previously used the same plastic surgeon.
“Your fucking doctor has ruined me!” Trump cried.
What followed was a “violent assault,” according to Lost Tycoon. Donald held back Ivana’s arms and began to pull out fistfuls of hair from her scalp, as if to mirror the pain he felt from his own operation. He tore off her clothes and unzipped his pants.
“Then he jams his penis inside her for the first time in more than sixteen months. Ivana is terrified… It is a violent assault,” Hurt writes. “According to versions she repeats to some of her closest confidantes, ‘he raped me.’”
Following the incident, Ivana ran upstairs, hid behind a locked door, and remained there “crying for the rest of night.” When she returned to the master bedroom in the morning, he was there.
“You’re talking about the front-runner for the GOP, presidential candidate, as well as a private individual who never raped anybody. And, of course, understand that by the very definition, you can’t rape your spouse.”
“As she looks in horror at the ripped-out hair scattered all over the bed, he glares at her and asks with menacing casualness: ‘Does it hurt?’ /…/”
“SAY WHAT? Trump Lawyer: You Can’t Rape Your Spouse”
“A lawyer at the Trump Organization told The Daily Beast that legally speaking, you can’t rape your spouse. “It is true,” said special counsel Michael Cohen. “You cannot rape your spouse. And there’s very clear case law.” Cohen was defending Donald Trump against allegations made by his ex-wife Ivana Trump, who once used the word “rape” to describe an incident between them in 1989. Ivana Trump later walked back her statement and said she felt “violated” by the experience. The “marital rape exemption” in New York state law ended in 1984—five years before Ivana Trump’s accusations—which means spouses could be prosecuted for marital rape.”
“FACT CHECK – Senator: Trump’s Lawyer Is ‘Incompetent’
“Democratic Missouri Sen. Claire McCaskill lambasted Donald Trump’s special counsel Monday for controversial comments he made about marital rape. In a Daily Beast report about past rape allegations made by Trump’s ex-wife Ivana Trump, Michael Cohen said, legally speaking, “you can’t rape your spouse.” McCaskill tweeted it is “incompetent for any lawyer to not know that rape is rape.” Donald Trump’s camp also responded to Cohen’s comments, distancing himself from his own special counsel. “Nobody speaks for Mr. Trump, but Mr. Trump,” he said, according to ABC News’ John Santucci. /…/”
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You’ve opened up (again) a challenging topic.
So, here’s my take: It doesn’t take balls to stalk a woman, it takes desperation. Sex is promoted as the antidote, the remedy to male inadequacy, loneliness, unworthiness, and fear – all that deeper stuff none wants to address in the male world. And fewer want to talk about these aspects of a man’s life. Guys sure don’t. We’re taught to live unreflectively on the surface dazed and numbed by aggressive pastimes (sports) and drugs (liquor, sex, food, TV, whatever). I hope your post opens up more honest dialogue, Sally. Thanks again! –roc,sj
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