I recently went undercover as a Trump supporter to mingle with the Long Island MAGA crowd, undetected.

A few days ago, I was driving down N.Y. Route 110, a major suburban drag in nearby Melville. This boring four-lane road filled with recognizable big box stores could be “Anywheresville U.S.A.” Suddenly, the sight of dozens of oversized flapping flags surrounding a nondescript building caught my attention.

These were no ordinary stars and stripes—these were huge Trump flags and banners.

Nestled between a dingy Men’s Wearhouse and a Dunkin Donuts was a Trump Pop-up store. My eyes lit up as I begged my friend to pull over and stop.

It was too tempting not to explore.

As a long-time collector of all things pop culture, good, bad, and tacky, I had to see what was inside.

Not wanting to enter as a judgmental liberal, it would be a covert operation. Drawing on the same skills I employed in 2017 when my friend Karen Gutfreund and I were down in Washington for the Woman’s March, we decided to crash a Trump inauguration party posing as celebratory Trumpers.

Now for a half hour, I would morph into a gleeful MAGA devotee. I wanted to mingle with crowds of customers and engage with them, leaving the snark in the car.

Walking through the colorful Trump T-shirt be-decked doors I was greeted by a life-size cardboard cut-out of The Donald himself all thumbs up and grinning. I couldn’t contain my genuine excitement. With the song YMCA running through my head in an endless loop, I gave a thumbs up myself, eliciting commiserating smiles from other customers walking into the store.

Looking around the crowded shop, I was surrounded by a group of ebullient Trump supporters- a cheerful, celebratory bunch of pasty-faced people decked out in Trump merchandise head to toe. All believed in their hearts America was on the wrong track and only Trump alone could make America Great Again. They had no doubt that this bogus billionaire with the beautiful family had the best interest of the country at heart.

They had bought Mr. Trump’s sales pitch for himself as easily as they bought his tacky merchandise.

And the merch did not disappoint. This was way beyond the iconic red Make America Great Again caps that had become a reference point in the culture wars. It wasn’t merely celebratory of their hero but of their race entitlement, and their place in our culture.

On tables and hanging on every wall and from every rafter  the newly re-elected Republican’s  smug face looked out from just about everything that could stay still. Trump tchotchkes as far as the eye could see from mugs, plates, and tote bags, to buttons, banners, bobbleheads, and visors with attached yellow hair. These All American merch were all made in Bangladesh or China.

His presence was there with the inscriptions like “Stop the Steal,” “Never Surrender,” “I’m Voting Felon 2024,” “Trump 2024 Fuck Your Feelings,” and “Even Dogs Hate Biden” printed in bold lettering embodied the energy of Trump.

Let’s Go Brandon

(R)Socks with tufts of Trump’s hair were a popular item

Bashing Biden was part of the fun too- buyers could choose between bumper stickers and magnets depicting a Taliban-loving, turban-wearing Joe or one of him wearing a bicycle helmet with the words ”I Crash Bikes and Economies.”

Santa’s Favorite Felon

And just in time for Christmas, “Santa’s Favorite Felon” was imprinted on various merchandise as was “Jesus is my Savior and Trump is my President.” Ho Ho Ho.

Guns God and Trump

But some of the merch was not so fun and light-hearted. The plethora of Bro-friendly merchandise was not unexpected.  I watched as one camo-covered head-to-toe Trump Bro happily selected a T-shirt that said “I Clean My Guns with Liberals Tears,” while another in a polyester fleece pullover chose a top stating ”Not Vaccinated- Fully protected” decorated with images of AR15 Rifles.

Hawking Hate

White Privilege Card at the Trump Pop up Store

Of all the over-the-top merchandise there was one category that made me gasp.

The credit card size “race cards,” To solidify one’s identity as a card-carrying Trumper, who wouldn’t want a “White Privilege” card to carry in your wallet?

On the back, it promises: “This card grants its bearer happiness and success because it’s the color of your skin and not the choices you make that determine your abilities to be successful.”

Its companion was the black-colored “Official Race Card” 100% Oppressed.

The back copy read: “This card grants the holder the power to make false claims of racism to win a debate/argument, claim oppression, look less stupid, claim future reparations payments, avoid punishment or jail time. The bearer of this card granted privileges and entitlements above and beyond what white people have and those already guaranteed by the US Constitution

As despicable as they were,  I knew they belonged in my collection. A perfect companion piece to my vintage “Colored Only” signs remnants of the Jim Crow Era.

I Am a Trump Woman Hear Me Roar

I morphed into a MAGA Trump Woman for the day

I quickly sidled over to a group of MAGA mamas of various ages huddled together fawning over the adorable Trump baby-togs.

The ladies chuckled and cooed as they envisioned their own Republicans-in-the-making infants sporting a tiny onesie or baby bib with such sweet sayings as “I Cry Almost As Much As Liberals” and “I Only Cry When Democrats Hold Me.” As I nodded in agreement at the thought of my own faux granddaughter in one of these precious outfits, I refrained from making any jokes about the obvious choice of branding Trump diapers.

They gushed over these darling outfits as much as they seemed to fawn over Donald himself. To a one, these women were besotted with Donald J. Trump.

These were women who saw a successful businessman as a savior, a strong man who would fix what was broken.

These women looked past the threat Trump poses to women, past the pussy grabbing past, his call to punish women who have abortions, past his misogynist name-calling. The racism. The xenophobia. The hate.

Did they look past it I wondered, or welcome it? It was hard to say.

Checking out at the Trump Pop up Store

When it came time to check out my purchases, I chatted with the owner Pete at the register who was sporting a classic red MAGA hat. As I placed my Trump Troll doll on the counter, I asked him how business was. He said, grinning broadly “Sometimes the line was out the door.”  After the July assassination attempt against Trump, demand for Trump merchandise was so high the line to get into the store stretched down the block. Though he had opened a brick-and-mortar Trump store after 2016 on the Jersey Shore,  the pop-ups proved lucrative.

Entrepreneurs like the owner of this pop-up store are part of a booming retail economy nationwide that has been marketing Trump and MAGA merchandise for years.

Like many others, the owner explained, from 2016 onward he went from rally to rally joining vendors who traveled across the US with the Trump campaign like a caravan selling unofficial merchandise.

These were the official unofficial merchandise vendors of Trump’s 2024 candidacy. Though not officially tied to the Trump campaign the vendors have a symbiotic relationship.

Now that Trump won, Pete planned to keep the pop-up store open until after January.

Who knew Santa was a Trumper?

He encouraged me to return soon for more Christmas merchandise that would be coming any day. As he waxed on about the boatload of Christmas ornaments he would be selling,  I reassured him I would be returning, as my Christmas tree wouldn’t be complete without a fist-bump dancing Trump decoration and dangling assault rifles topped off with a red MAGA Santa hat.

As I left clutching my red plastic bag, I wished him a Merry Christmas, careful not to utter  Happy Holidays lest I reveal my true identity.

A satisfied customer leaves the Trump Store

© Sally Edelstein and Envisioning The American Dream, 2024. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sally Edelstein and Envisioning The American Dream with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.